Mikeosophy – My World

“The more you know yourself, the less judgemental you become”
― Aniekee Tochukwu Ezekiel

I’m not one to make New Years resolutions. Evaluating myself is a continual process throughout the year. And one thing I’ve been working at for a while is to be less judgmental and to take into account  the perspective and life experiences of other people. The size and style of your shoes do not match my size or tastes. That’s what makes us unique individuals. I remind myself all the time “Mind my own business”. Medelling and gossip in my opinion cause more bad feelings between family and friends than any thing else I can think of. If someone asks for my thoughts or opinion only then will I offer them. Otherwise I am going to shut up and mind my own business. I need to focus on my own issues and problems, there’s plenty of them to keep me busy for a lifetime.

Gossip is petty all it does is make me look pathetic and jealous – there is so much more to myself than to engage in gossip

I start off by asking myself, am I willing to say or ask something in front of the person in the discussion and why am I even considering what I am comtemplating saying to others about a person. Is what I’m about to say merely to elevate my stature in front of others? If I am happy and content with my own life then why should I care what’s going on in someone elses life.

1. I need to think more before I say something – I’ve embarassed myself enough and hurt others with a quick thoughtless comment.
2. I need to think more of how I would feel if people meddle in my affairs.
3. What people do in their own lives that does not affect me is not my business (this is worth repeating over and over).
4. Unless asked I keep my “advice” to myself. Your business is none of my business.
5. As stated above I don’t wear the shoes of others and I don’t know the whole story.
6. Let Donald Trump do all the dissing on Twitter – I have much more rewarding things in my life to work at.

This is a something in my life that I have to work at all the time and I have to slap myself all the time to stay the course.

We’ve all been alone and had a thought, something we wanted to share with others thinking the idea/thought would hold in our memories and we’d have time to get to it later and write it down, but then we forget what it was that we wanted to share with others. Those are truely missed opportunities to share our thoughts, insights and the depth of our being and experiences with others much more intimate than a brief conversation. Putting our thoughts out there for others without the interuption and distraction of conversation allowing those in our lives to fully appreciate the soul of our being.

We’ve all read and listened to those who are more elloquant expressing an idea than ourselves. Does take away from our own insights and thoughts about something. No it does not, what we think and express is just as important as those gifted in being able to express themselves more elloquently or having a higher public stature than ourselves. We should never be embarassed or intimidated when we want to express ourselves and by all means we should record what we have to say for others to remember us by.

To understand me a little better here are two of my favorite Peter O’Toole quotes

“I do not choose to be a common man…it is my right to be uncommon—if I can…I seek opportunity—not security…I want to take the calculated risk; to dream and to build, to fail and to succeed… to refuse to barter incentive for a dole… I prefer the challenges of life to the guaranteed existence, the thrill of fulfillment to the stale calm of utopias….”

“When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself. ”

Life gets in the way of all good intentions. I promise this will be a more active blog. I’ve been doing a lot of study and have a lot to share. Been looking at several things that I initially thought would be a slam dunk. Not so fast I quickly learned. Like Genealogy research every little detail has to be examined for it’s accuracy, which at first looks to be annoying but actually turns out to be a learning experience. Like genealogy one often finds themselves emmersed in the details sometimes more detail than necessary.

I am diabetic and will be devoting a lot of attention to diabetes. One of my targets is the sugar industry. Other industries that are in my sights are the predatory loan industry, pawn shops title loans well you get the picture and mega-pastors Joel Osteen, Benny Hinn, Rick Warren, Jack Van Impe, John Hagee the list goes on and on.

“I went down to the river,
I set down on the bank.
I tried to think but couldn’t,
So I jumped in and sank.”
― Langston Hughes

I would hope that people never reach this state.

Where to go for Help                                                              http://thehotline.org

Why do people remain in an abusive relationships?

Two events from my life.

My former wife died from alcoholism. The years leading up to her final year were especially trying and they took their toll on me physically and mentally, nothing could have prepared me for her final year. I considered myself a strong person however the emotional abuse I tolerated was almost too much. So why did I stay with her, I made a promise to her that she would not die alone. That was a conscious decision I made not knowing what I in for and how unprepared I was.

My wife and I were watching a talk show on domestic abuse victims who continued to stay with their partner. Each of the ladies said that they were beaten and that that was their boyfriend/spouse expressed their love towards them. Pictures of the ladies after they were physically abuse were shown. My wife was becoming more agitated as we continued watching. Finally she had enough and angrily turned off the TV. Later in the evening I awoke to my wife hitting me in her sleep. The show had upset her so much it started me thinking about the issue of abuse and how large of an issue it really is.

I have always spoken about how domestic abuse bothers me but only to family and friends hiding behind the thought that the victims will somehow get help from others, in otherwords “it’s not my problem“. Now it’s time for me to quit hiding and at least contribute to the public discussion in the hope that it may in some small way help . What really shocks me when I speak with people is how many of them have been directly affected by domestic abuse. I would never have known had it not been for a conversation with them and that conversation was a very difficult one for some of them. I can’t stay silent any longer.

Well I guess I’ve strayed from the original intent of this post “Who do people remain in abusive relationships?”. I will return to that as well as expanding on isolation and finishing some thoughts on control to be followed by others.

While most of my interests are somewhat technical in nature I have become more aware of social issues around me. Not that I was never aware of them as I knew they were always there but never said anything. One instance has placed a demand on my attention and for comment. While I need to educate myself a little more to fully comprehend the problem here are some expand on hmy thoughts on the problem with abusive relationships.

I originally started this thread on Facebook but quickly learned sound bite comments are not fully developed and quite often are taken out of the intended context. I initiated the thread with talking about isolation which I am learning typically leads up to physical and mental abuse. Below is my original post. Other posts will follow as I learn other aspects of spousal abuse.

Isolation is a powerful tactic used by controlling partners
Isolation is a pivotal tactic that controlling partners use in order to weaken their victims, prevent them from hearing others’ perspectives, and to bring them into line with their own beliefs and requirements. Often possessiveness and jealousy play a part in the motivation to isolate their partner from social contact with friends and family. Some tactics aimed at isolating the victim include telling them that they care more for her friends, family and pets than for them, telling their partner they are the only one who understands them and loves them, controlling incoming information including what is read, calling them names if their partner spends time with friends and family, and there are a whole lot more tactics that are used to control a person.

I know there are volumes of information ot there by real experts and I believe one more voice cannot hurt.